Why Girls Are Like Corporations

I should apologize. This post should have been a continuation of my last one, but the sequel to Love Theory  isn’t ready. It’s proving to be tougher than I thought. Hopefully, by next week I’ll be content with my efforts.

I think there are incredible similarities between chasing a girl -as I like to call it – and aggressively searching for a new job.  No kidding. I’m serious. Some paramount requirements for either goal are surprisingly close. I know this, because I have  uhm… experience  read a lot about both areas.

Confidence and Speed

Walking into a company’s reception uninvited and requesting to meet HR requires as much confidence as successfully starting a conversation that leads to contact, with a girl you’ve never met before. It also requires quick thinking. “Is HR expecting you, Mr? ” Do you timidly say only “No” or do you follow-up on that with a convincing reason why that should not be a problem. A study I read long ago, and can’t find says that people can identify persons of romantic interest in under two seconds. I promise I really did read something like that. Is two seconds enough for you tell that you like her and figure out something reasonable to say so that she pauses and talks to you? If it is, if you can handle the odds of rejection, you can get her number or an invitation to write an aptitude test.

Confidence is attractive to both girls and employers. Properly done, it suggests that there is something special about you, that they should probably take time to check out.  You don’t want to over do it though, it’s like salt. Too much and it repulses.

The Message

Contact is established. They have your CV. She gave you a means to reach her. Quite some times passes and things are not the way you’d hoped. You realize that you must do more to tip the balance in your favour. You want to call the company.  How do you prod them to see that you want the job badly but only because it would be highly mutually beneficial? You are not simply trying to end your unemployment and earn money. You have screened the job carefully and are applying because you could be of true value in the role.  How will you show her that you want her, and at the same time signal that you will not be her plaything. It is not, ” please say yes. You complete me! ” but you’re great. I’m great. We should date (LOL!) this could work for both of us. Consider it? .You’re passionate and you’re careful not to be perceived as desperate.

Cheating and Jealousy

Now you’re in love. She said yes. You signed an employment letter. Companies are as jealous as lovers. Maybe more. They don’t want you looking at any other companies. They frown on intimate moments with competitors. You can’t say, “I was just helping them fix this/that problem…I still love you”. Don’t try it. You’ll get booted out. You’re playing with fire. The smart, stunning girl you’re with will not be your side-chick or spare tire. She will make demands of your time, your attention, your future plans. So will many good companies. And some will even make you sign a non-compete contract. If you leave em, you can’t work for anyone close to them. Ever tried dating your ex-girlfriend’s friend?


God forbid that you divorce after your wedding, but if it happens, she’ll be wanting to take the kids with her. I once signed a contract stating that any innovative breakthroughs I made during my employ would belong to the company. If that isn’t like keeping the kids, I don’t know what it is. I wondered if the term would still apply even if the innovation was in an area unrelated to the company’s business. I didn’t ask though. I signed it.

Likewise, saying that you made that part of your money alone without her help isn’t necessarily going to save you in divorce court. You might still have to give her half of everything.

See, I told you there are similarities!

The moral of this story is that skills acquired in either of these areas might be of surprising use in the other. If you want a job, consider chasing a girl 😀 











Published by

Tolu O

intends to learn to write someday, is inquisitive, maverick, and a playful lover- of music and words.

2 thoughts on “Why Girls Are Like Corporations”

  1. First, I think this is as entertaining as it is brilliant.

    Interesting topic right there, it makes me realize how much connection there is between mundane things like ‘the thrill of getting a girl’ and issues as serious as ‘searching for a job’.

    In my opinion, which is a very non-feminist view, the title might come off as a tad condescending to women. Nobody likes that there are strategies to owning them or getting them, even though in the real sense of it, there is a strategy to everything.

    I was expecting a lot more details as to why ladies are actually like corporations; what is means to survive the competitive nature of branding yourself as part of the corporation : what it means to come out on top as her sole choice amongst many other appealing males. What does it mean to get fired if you falter as regards company policies and how do you reconcile that with ladies?

    I caught myself smiling for no obvious reasons because the juxtapositions were almost accurate.
    You might want to proof read next time for spelling errors, too.
    This is enlightening.

  2. I quite enjoyed writing it too. Thank you. Who says the thrill of getting a girl is mundane? Maybe someone needs to reorder his priorities.
    No, I do think the title’s fine. Anyone that claims it’s condescending is probably only looking for a reason to argue. After all, only the first point is about ‘getting’. The others are solely about casual similarities.
    Now the title might not be patronizing, but it’s admittedly not the best fit. Usually I pick a title before writing. This time, I wrote and then slapped a title onto it in a split second. An alternative, “Chasing Girls is like Chasing Jobs ” – bores me but I suppose it would be a better title.
    You didn’t get the details you expected because my thoughts were in the region of the title I didn’t use rather than the one I did use.
    I forgot to add that skills acquired in either area might be applicable in the other. In other words, if you’re preparing to chase a job, chase a girl?
    Maybe I’ll add that and change the title. Maybe.
    I had fun finding the common attributes between two ostensibly unrelated activities.

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